I Got Your Back

“I got your back.”

I was listening to Jim Rome the other day on his syndicated radio sports talk show.

He was interviewing an athlete and said, “Hey bro, I got your back.” You know what he meant by that, right?

That’s how dudes tell each other they are loyal to them. I think it probably comes from the military idea of watching out for the other guy. You know, you are clad in your soldier garb, helmet, rifle and all – sitting in the foxhole in the jungle with the enemy firing all around. Your fellow soldier buddies are on all sides, shooting. It’s your turn to jump out of the foxhole and run over to the bullet-ridden army jeep that has extra ammo cases and retrieve them.

While you are literally running for your life, your fellow soldiers are supposed to “give you cover” or shoot at any and all possible enemy locations. In this way, they “got your back.”

I love this notion.

There is something ethical, moral and even spiritual about friends who “got your back.” That’s really what a true friend is – someone who has your back; in the midst of negative or critical comments or gossip, your friend is somehow able to say, “Yeah well I love that guy anyway. And I got their back.”

How do you feel when you find out a supposed “close friend” does not have your back? What do you do when a friend has perhaps turned against you in some way, or betrayed you in some manner?

Julius Caesar was totally shocked when his closest friend, Brutus, stabbed him in the back along with the Roman Senate. For some reason, in my mind it is easier to forgive Brutus for a political betrayal – after all, it wasn’t personal – just business! 🙂 I find most upsetting are the betrayals in which the motive is centered in jealousy, greed or fear.

When I see someone act like they are a close friend to someone, and then when not in their presence they clearly do not have their back, I really have a hard time with that. There are those who use friends like tools – they have their back for as long as they are useful to them in some way, but the minute they are no longer needed, suddenly they no longer have their back and they are dropped like a hot potato – put right back in the box of “I don’t have your back anymore”.

This is messed up. Right?

People who cannot keep any close friends often do this kind of thing – I think its a personality disorder. There are many “wolves” who stalk lonely women looking for someone to “have their back.” These guys come along and treat these women like they are queens, and then they drop them in the “I no longer have your back” box. Some men can juggle several women all at the same time in this way.

If you have a problem with this, I would take a good hard look inside – is it possible that you see others, including close friends, as a means to attain some kind of personal gain? If so, you know this is really a selfish way to operate. You don’t have anyone’s back.

Someday you will be in the foxhole and the crossfire will be more than you can bear. You will look back at your buddies and to your shock, you will be all alone with dead bodies. And guess what? They weren’t all just shot by the enemy – some you turned on and shot in the back when they were busy trying to protect your back.

And when the ammo runs out, you’re gonna have to get up and run. Good luck making it out of there alive.

Something to think about.

As always. 🙂

Jeff

Image

Advertisements

So that…

“Wanna hear the most annoying
sound in the world? Aaaaahhhhhnnaaeeeeyyyyyaaank!”

That’s a direct quote from the blockbuster comedy film “Dumb and Dumber” starring Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas. It was a very funny moment but I recommend the edited version.

I must admit I laughed out of my chair during that movie. But I think it illustrates a point – sometimes we think we are connecting and communicating positively and effectively with others when we might be making the most annoying sound in the world.

We live in a world of “so that…”

Most people today do what they do, so that:

~ their spouse does something in return.
~ they can get promoted.
~ others are impressed with them.
~ they can get a tax write-off

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with doing something positive to get something in return.

But I Corinthians 13:5 really sets the bar high when it says, “Love is not self-seeking.” And then at the beginning of the “Love Chapter” it says, “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love, I’m like a… clashing cymbal.”

Can you imagine walking into a group of people who are clashing their cymbals as loud as they can in your direction?

That might just be the most annoying sound in the world – people who speak God’s truth to others but they have no love.

What is love? Well for one thing it is not self-seeking. When you love another, you seek to help them with no “so that” whatsoever. Also it is totally focused on the other person. Don’t you hate it when well-intended know-it-alls talk AT you or ABOUT you rather than TO you, or WITH you?

If we truly love our neighbor we will lift them off the side of the road, bind up their brokenness, bring the healing oil of compassion and grace and hang in there with them through their pain.

Why? Because love does without any “so that”. We don’t think about how our service might impress others, or how a good deed might benefit our reputation or political or vocational goals. We do simply because Love Does.

Let’s try to remove the “so thats” in our lives and start discovering what real love is all about.

Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Until next time,

Jeff